Ah, Love!

Ah, Love!

Love is exciting!  

The ding of the phone letting you know you have a new text message sends little charges of electricity through your body.  To see the object of your affection unexpectedly makes your heart go pitter-patter.  Hearing that they are coming to see you might even make you bounce - literally! - and dance around.  

Yeah, I know that feeling.

It must be love!

Except when it's only infatuation, or worse, addiction - being in love with love and the adrenaline rush.  

Take some time for that to wear off.  You know - a month maybe?  Better yet, make it 6 months.  

Talk to them about real stuff.  Heck, even argue with them about nonessential things (to see how they will act if you argue about important things.)  Determine what they consider "arguing."  It may well be a lot different than your definition.  

Play board games with them; something you like, something they like.  

Go to a restaurant that has a reputation for slow service or bad food.  See how they react.  Be nice to them.  Ignore them (for a little while.)  

Go without your usual hygienic routine (you know, skip the makeup or shaving.)  

Meet their friends.  Have them meet yours.  

Ask them to go somewhere you really love to be.  Go with them to their favorite place.  

Discuss your philosophy of life and (if it's important to you) spiritual things.  

Verbally set boundaries for actions you consider important to your mental and physical well-being.  See if they intentionally cross them.  

Ask them to do something that would inconvenience them.  And costs money.  Something altruistic, even.  

Work with them doing something you enjoy, and something you might not, especially if you know more about the subject than they do.  

Say "no" - on more than one occasion, and stick to it.

Oh yeah.  Notice that most of this requires face to face, not social media.

You get the idea.  Be creative.

And then pay attention.  Without all the excitement.  

And then wait a little while longer to see if they are just playing the game for an ultimate goal that is a little less than savory.

Then, look for the peace.  Not until then is it a good idea to call it "love."

Yeah.  Experience.

Have you ever been in love, only to find it wasn't?